We are in the fourth posting of a 5-part blog series on how to have a successful marriage.\u00c2\u00a0 I am writing this blog, not as one who has figured it all out, but rather one who has learned some things over the last 8 years of marriage and thought I would share those with any who want to read.<\/p>\n
For the previous tips to a successful marriage or relationship, go here\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6tip #1<\/a>, tip #2<\/a>, and tip #3<\/a>.<\/p>\n The fourth tip is one that I have learned over the last few years.\u00c2\u00a0 I woke up one day and the Lord challenged me with a question to ask myself and that question is tip #4\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6Wake Up Every Day and Ask \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How Can I Serve My Spouse?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/strong><\/p>\n I believe it was when my wife was pregnant with our first child, Wyatt Daniel, that I learned this principle.\u00c2\u00a0 Sara had been sick for the first 17 weeks of the pregnancy and it was difficult for her to function in a normal capacity, as you can imagine.<\/p>\n A few weeks into the sickness my lack of empathy was really wearing her down.\u00c2\u00a0 (Side note: if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know, I have little to no empathy\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6especially when someone is sick, except me of course J) I was expecting her to continue doing all the stuff she had pretty much always done in our marriage, even though she was leaning over a toilet most of the I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t realize until that moment how much Sara actually did around the house.\u00c2\u00a0 She does the laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, cleans the bathrooms and pretty much\u00c2\u00a0 everything else.\u00c2\u00a0 The only thing I can claim is taking out the trash, most of the time.<\/p>\n During those 17 weeks, all of those chores were taxing on Sara and I had to learn to step up my serving.\u00c2\u00a0 It was during that period that I learned to ask the question, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How Can I Serve Sara?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 I asked this question daily and it allowed me to gain a greater love for her by simply knowing all that she had done for me over the years, as well as a greater drive to just let her know everything is taken care of.<\/p>\n I have found over the years that when I stop serving my wife, I stop showing her love and respect.\u00c2\u00a0 I have found that when I stop being willing to \u00c2\u00a0put her needs above my own, I complain more, I am irritated more and I am simply more difficult to live with.<\/p>\n Sara and I are now pregnant with our second child and the lesson that God taught me during our first pregnancy is being challenged during this one.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ask this question when we are not pregnant, but it becomes more obvious when we are.<\/p>\n Am I going to serve her?\u00c2\u00a0 Am I going to show her I love her by cleaning up the house and putting away the clothes?\u00c2\u00a0 Am I going to serve her by putting her needs, her emotions, and her desires above my own?<\/p>\n Only time will tell, but I know that tomorrow I will focus on asking the question \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How Can I Serve Sara?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n\n\t\t
\nday.<\/p>\n