Ernest Smith

A few months ago I had the privilege of speaking at Groundswell, Seacoast’s middle/high school ministry worship experience.  I was asked to speak on a hot topic, as this was going to be week two into a series called Stupid Cupid.  The theme of my message was supposed to be “How far is too far?”

As I began to pray about the message and trying to discern what God wanted me to speak on, I had two choices.  One, I could teach a similar message that I have given countless times over the years of being a youth pastor.  I have given the talk about how we shouldn’t be having pre-marital sex, we shouldn’t allow our hands to wander up or down, or allow our thoughts to go places we shouldn’t go.

This direction seemed natural.  This direction seemed easy.  This direction seemed like a no-brainer.

Yet God began to press on my heart a different direction.  As I was driving home a week prior to speaking at Groundswell, I sensed God was putting on my heart the direction He wanted me to go for the message.  So I stopped at a red light and started typing away on my iPad.

I wrote down the words “Instead of asking ‘What should I NOT be doing? I should be asking ‘What should I be doing?’”

This one simple question was puzzling and soon transforming.  As I processed the question, I felt the Lord say to me “Too many times Pastors are telling people what they should not be doing, creating a negative sense of Christianity.  Why don’t you try telling these students what they should be doing?”

It was like a light bulb went off for me.  I shouldn’t be so consumed about what not to do, because if I am consumed with what I should be doing, then I won’t want to do those things that I “shouldn’t” be doing.  I hope that makes sense!

So what should I be doing when it comes to relationships?

1. I should be pursuing Jesus more than anyone else. 

2. I should care more about loving others and meeting their needs, rather than my own.

3. I should be interested only in someone who loves God more than me. 

All three of these need further explanation, but this is the general gist of what I communicated to the students.  It was an attempt to help them know that it isn’t about what we shouldn’t be doing, but rather what we should be doing.

So how about you?  Are you more focused on what you shouldn’t be doing that you are missing out on what you should be doing?  Are you more concerned about walking the line, not falling over the edge, that you have completely lost sight of the ultimate destination….JESUS?

My encouragement and challenge to you is to start focusing on what you should be doing.  What has God called you to do?  What is God hoping you will do?  Do those things and you will see the things you “shouldn’t” be doing as non-issues.

Ultimately, you will see yourself caring more about Jesus, and that should be the goal.

Side Note: I am thinking about posting three separate blog posts on the three things that we should be doing listed above.  I believe that these three truths are ones that apply when you are single and when you are married.  Let me know if this would be a topic you would be interested in exploring.  Either respond on here or e-mail me at ernestsmith@seacoast.org

What is it that you are called to do? 

What do you need to focus more on doing in your relationship with God?